“day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry.”
It’s taken a long time to get my anger under control. For a long time, I let it dominate me, and let it influence how I acted out on things, and regrettably, people. I’ve embarrassed myself and done things I wish I could take back when I’m angry. But facing up to that realization has enabled me to start getting it under control, and hopefully those closest to me would agree. Personal things don’t get me angry hardly at all anymore. I know myself well enough, and how best to handle stresses and challenges, to make sure I don’t fly off the handle at the little things.
When I do get angry now, it’s usually over the big things.
The big things are usually so big, that there’s no one person to get angry at, or to blame. So on the one hand, it makes for a lot of impotent, fist-shaking rage at problems so huge that I can’t hope to solve them myself. You know, things like blowing up entire mountains to get at a seven-inch seam of coal, or hunting whales to grind them into dog food as part of an international politics pissing match, or maybe any one of myriad instances of the strong and powerful taking advantage of the weak, near and far, on small scales and huge. These are the things that make me furious, and get my blood boiling. Injustice.
So, when faced with a culture that so often tacitly accepts, or even sometimes encourages such behaviors, it trips the nihilist nerves in my body. I start to gravitate towards the music that rejects and negates e very assumption about modern society. So ever since I was a teenager, that would be Atari Teenage Riot. Nothing says ‘senseless negation’ and ‘bumper sticker politics’ like this, but when I’m full of rage, it speaks to me. Still does.